Want To Make New Friends? 6 Toxic Friend Traits To Leave in 2022
While society thinks women only grow up dreaming of marrying the love of their life, the truth is, most of us grow up yearning for a group of supportive besties. Gossip Girl, Sex and the City, Mean Girls, Working Moms—at their core, show us the importance of friendship and just how fulfilling life is with a group of supportive women by your side. Therefore it's no surprise that when a toxic friend comes along and causes a divide, it can easily be overlooked.
Having a toxic friend in your circle is not only detrimental to your mental health but also the rest of the girl gang. What’s worse is, you may not even see the red flags sprouting up left and right because you look for the good in people. These red flags can easily hide within friend groups and get left unnoticed for longer than they should you would think.
So if you’re striving to make new friends, leave these toxic traits behind so you can open yourself up to new friendship opportunities. If you notice yourself displaying these toxic friend traits or one of your friends start displaying these characteristics, have a conversation and simply confront the situation head on and them about how you’re feeling.
1. Protecting your emotions
If you feel like you simply can’t open up and talk about your struggles with a friend, it can be a little indication that something isn't right. Your friends should make you naturally feel comfortable sharing the nitty gritty of life but if you feel like they’ll judge you, they’ve not created a safe space for you to be vulnerable in expressing yourself.
Friends are supposed to be your ride or dies without any judgment. So if you feel like you have to put on a smile and fake it through the struggles you’re facing, there may be a shark in the water.
2. Toxic positivity
Toxic positivity is something that is so common that it makes me want to scream! This isn't to say you can't be positive or have a positive friend in your life. But if you're trying to tell a friend that you're have a bad day and all you get is a 'it could be worse' sentiment without validating or even acknowledging your feelings, that's toxic positivity.
If you feel you are the one presenting the toxic positivity, sit back, listen, and let them vent. Sometimes friends just need that safe place to let it all go without an oversimplified solution for what they are going through.
3. Unpredictable moods
Toxic friends can be so draining to be around, often because their moods are hard to navigate. When the group's overall morale is dictated by a toxic friend's mood, it can really kill the vibe. For example, I have a former toxic frenemy that would be living her best life one moment then be a total party shitter the next because everyone wanted to go somewhere new and she didn't like the new place. Toxic friend traits like this will constantly leave you wondering when the person is going to flip the switch and be a kill joy when you go out.
4. They won’t Embrace tough love
If your friend doesn't listen to constructive criticism and takes all negative feedback as an attack, it’s impossible for your friendship to nurture and grow. Sometimes you just need someone to be like hey, I don't like when you do xyz. Surrounding yourself with people who will only tell you what you want to hear all of the time isn’t a friendship. That doesn't mean your pride won't be hurt but its the only way to move forward and grow together.
5. Jealousy
It’s unrealistic to assume that our friends will only be our friends. Everyone has friends all on different levels. You can have acquaintances, work spouses, internet friends, workout buddies—you name it. It's totally normal to have a little FOMO when they're hanging out with different people but if your friend starts to make you feel bad for hanging out with other people, they’re typically rolling in jealously.
If you find you are the one being jealous, sit back, take a breather, and maybe talk to someone about it-be that a different friend, family member, or therapist.
6. Preying on your Insecurities
If you find your friends preying on your insecurities and weaknesses, it will only get worse. Your girl gang is supposed to make you feel supported and confident; you should feel happy around them. You shouldn't feel like you're the butt of a joke every time a sensitive insecurity of yours comes up. When a 'friend' does this, it's generally their way of masking their own insecurities by projecting all of the attention on you. So instead of lifting you both up, they're dragging you down with them and making you feel badly about yourself.
Moments like these typically don't go unnoticed in a group of friends. These toxic friend traits make everyone feel awkward. If your 'friend' doesn’t have a vested interest in making you feel empowered, cut them out of your circle.